Local Baha’i Man Thinks Every Positive Moment in His Life is Divine Confirmation

bmb-3967427-previewThe Bahá’í House of Worship in Wilmette, Illinois, U.S.A. 

Inspired by the style of ‘The Onion.’

Lootsville, PA- Baha’i congregants in the town of Lootsville have reported that one of their adherents, Neiman Divinicus is pathologically convinced that every positive detail of his life is “Confirmation.” Every time we go out and have a peaceful dinner with our kids, he says, this was divine confirmation,  Bahá’u’lláh (The prophet founder of The Baha’i Faithwas with us, his wife says. She continues: This morning he woke up, and remembered my birthday, and said: Happy Birthday honey, the fact that I remember it is your birthday is God’s confirmation that I married the right woman, and you married the right man. In the Baha’i community, he can be heard muttering confirmation, confirmation every time his suggestions become seconded or recommended during consultations. When Mr. Divinicus receives likes for his posts on Facebook, he replies: Thank you all for your confirmations #blessed. Community members say he was caught yelling his favorite word during the local Baha’i election because he realized he was elected into the Local Spiritual Assembly. Some community members have tried telling Divinicus that not everything that happens to us should be seen as an act of God. In Baha’i scripture and tradition, a confirmation is known as a blessing derived from God when an individual exercises virtue or is doing an act of service.  Divinicus is still not convinced, and  believes those thin Jeans he was gifted are  a divine confirmation from God that he is eating healthy.


Dating a Disabled Person

graffiti-1088873_960_720[Image from http://bit.ly/29ON77d]

You’ve met someone. You think they are pretty awesome, and attractive. It just so happens that they have a disability. Now you might start thinking, oh this could complicate things like future plans, maybe raising a child, or climbing mountains for a living. How can someone who may need help in day to day life help me raise a child, or do other things to get our life in order? How will we have sex, am I going to be doing all the sweaty work? Our brains go on autopilot asking all kinds of questions to ourselves when someone or something new comes along. You probably never dated a disabled person before, so these questions are especially unique. These questions may form into anxieties or reasons that hold you back from considering this person as a potential mate. Here is the important thing: Ignore your impulse to run from this opportunity. These questions are normal, and you can ask them when you both feel comfortable. The point being: none of these anxieties should prevent you and your disabled mate from going out to dinner, or a nice show. Some events may have logistical challenges for accessibility, but your disabled partner will usually be forthcoming with you about access issues, because, as a disabled person, showing up to some event you can’t access or participate in is more embarrassing than talking about logistics beforehand. The more acquainted you become with each other, the more clear access and independence issues become, and you’ll learn that there are plenty of solutions. Disabled people work, travel, eat, play, and worship. We are very creative individuals, constantly coming up with new ideas that allow us to live in a well-balanced way. The salient point is: Just do it, all relationships carry a balance of risk versus reward. Ask your disabled friend out on a date; If they agree, enjoy your time. If they “reject” you, that’s their right, as it is yours. If you have any stories or insights regarding disability and dating, please comment.