Dating a Disabled Person

graffiti-1088873_960_720[Image from http://bit.ly/29ON77d]

You’ve met someone. You think they are pretty awesome, and attractive. It just so happens that they have a disability. Now you might start thinking, oh this could complicate things like future plans, maybe raising a child, or climbing mountains for a living. How can someone who may need help in day to day life help me raise a child, or do other things to get our life in order? How will we have sex, am I going to be doing all the sweaty work? Our brains go on autopilot asking all kinds of questions to ourselves when someone or something new comes along. You probably never dated a disabled person before, so these questions are especially unique. These questions may form into anxieties or reasons that hold you back from considering this person as a potential mate. Here is the important thing: Ignore your impulse to run from this opportunity. These questions are normal, and you can ask them when you both feel comfortable. The point being: none of these anxieties should prevent you and your disabled mate from going out to dinner, or a nice show. Some events may have logistical challenges for accessibility, but your disabled partner will usually be forthcoming with you about access issues, because, as a disabled person, showing up to some event you can’t access or participate in is more embarrassing than talking about logistics beforehand. The more acquainted you become with each other, the more clear access and independence issues become, and you’ll learn that there are plenty of solutions. Disabled people work, travel, eat, play, and worship. We are very creative individuals, constantly coming up with new ideas that allow us to live in a well-balanced way. The salient point is: Just do it, all relationships carry a balance of risk versus reward. Ask your disabled friend out on a date; If they agree, enjoy your time. If they “reject” you, that’s their right, as it is yours. If you have any stories or insights regarding disability and dating, please comment.

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